Still more Jack Facts

In order to control illegal immigration in the United States, the president installed cardboard cutouts of Jack Bauer along the US/Mexico border.

Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.

Jack Bauer eliminated Bird Flu by playing Duck Hunt.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish her vegetables.

Jack Bauer can leave a message before the beep.

Jack Bauer makes onions cry.

Jack Bauer once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Many women's husbands don't wish they were Jack Bauer. They wish their wives were Jack Bauer. Coincidentally, none of these men are gay.

Jack Bauer can fly a plane from the luggage compartment

When Chuck Norris files his taxes, he sends in a blank return and a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has never had to pay taxes. This year, however, the IRS sent him back a picture of Jack Bauer wearing his dark sunglasses. The next day, Chuck Norris pled guilty to multiple counts of tax evasion.

Jack Bauer can hit two birds with no stones.

Jack Bauer knows Victoria's secret.

Jack Bauer’s dog put a sign on his fence that read “Beware of Jack.”

When Jack Bauer was a baby, he took candy from adults.

Jack Bauer can start a fire using only water.

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