Thursday, April 05, 2007

An alternative to a nursing home....

No Nursing Home for Me
Cruise_20Ship_small

About 2 years ago, my wife and I were on a cruise through the Western Mediterranean aboard a Princess Liner.  At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone, along the rail of the grand stairway into the main dining room.  I noticed that all the staff, ship’s officers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady.  I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told that she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back.

 

As we left the dining room one evening, I caught her eye and stopped to say hello.  We chatted and I said, “I understand you’ve been on this ship for the last four cruises”.  She replied, “Yes, that’s true.”  I stated, “I don’t understand” and she replied, without a pause, “It’s cheaper than a nursing home”.

 

So, then and there I decided, there will be no nursing home in my future.  When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princes Cruise Ship.

 

The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day.

 

I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day.

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That leaves $65 a day for:
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1.       Gratuities, which will only be $10/day.

2.       I can have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week.

3.       Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every evening.

4.       They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5.       They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient.  Also, an extra $5 a day in tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6.       I will get to meet new people every 7 to 14 days.

7.       TV broken?  Light bulb needs changing?  Need to have the mattress replaced?  No problem!!  They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.

8.       Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don’t even have to ask for them.

9.       If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip, you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess, they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

 

Now, hold on for the best!!  Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia or anywhere else you want to go, no doubt, the Princess line will have a ship ready to go.

 

So don’t go looking for me in a nursing home, just call me shore to ship

 

P.S.  Don’t forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.

 

Thanks Mary

2 comments:

Miss Cellania said...

Now if we can only convince the insurance companies to pay for it!

Unknown said...

Still, that last part doesn't sound really nice.