Short & sweet

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. 
The thief spends less than my wife did.

We always hold hands.  If I let go, she shops.

The doctor gave a man six months to live. 
The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back."
Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!"
Patient:  "I AM 60!" 
Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"

A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man's chest. 
The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" 
The doctor answers "That's what puzzles me!"

Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears." 
Doctor: "Don't answer!"

I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.

 There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins.
In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.

Thanks Ronnie & Sue